


Blazed

by doors_death



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Depression, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sad, So many Trees, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Weed, weed is cool man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:33:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doors_death/pseuds/doors_death
Summary: Conner wasn't expecting to go to the hospital that day. He had no intention of ever walking foot into a hospital ever again but there he sits in one of those gross chairs, staring at the boy who lay in the bed next to him. Eye's closed and breathing steady. He still can't believe he saw Evan Hansen drop 4 stories from a tree, and from what he can remember, it wasn't an accident. Having quickly calling for an ambulance the teen waited by Evans side until the emergency respondents showed and put him in the back. Conner got in with them.





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I've never posted on here before so this is exciting! Anyways, if anyone see's this what's up. Hope you enjoy. I may make a schedule in which I post but who knows!

Conner was having a bad day, not that that was different from any other day but today was particularly bad for him. After he woke up that morning at around noon he could already hear the yelling coming from down stairs about something or another. He didn’t want to deal with his parents endless fighting that day so when he fully woke up he threw on some clothes and a jacket, grabbed some weed from his stash, his car keys and wallet, and climbed out of his window. He started down the tree that was stationed right next to Conner's room. The perfect height for getting away. Hopping in his car he quickly turned on the engine and threw his car into reverse so no one could stop him. Blasting his music he went to the one place he knew no one would bother him.

The orchard. It had been abandoned for several years now having been shut down from lack of funds. His family used to go there in the fall when things used to be good. When he wasn’t so messed up and angry, and his parents barely fought, and Zoe actually talked to him. But now it was just empty. Just like Conner liked it. 

The drive was pretty simple. It’s only about 20 minutes away from Conner's house by car. When he has a particularly hard day, only an hour when he walks. The scenery is nice with trees passing by and the sun high in the sky. It was nice out. Conner road with the windows down and his music loud.

When he finally got to the orchard he checked his phone to see that he got a text from both his parents demanding where he is. He ignores both of them. 

He lets out a sigh and walks over the the fence, which has been taken over by vines. He pulls at a loose part in the chain and steps through pulling the fence back into place as he does so. 

The trees were large and beautiful. Branches running up the whole thing and it being summer, full of lush green leaves.

“Perfect.” Conner muttered as he started to make his way further into the orchard. 

He eventually comes to a small clearing, the sun shining on the soft overgrown grass that lay before him. Taking a seat in the center of the clearing, Conner pulls out a little baggy of weed and some rolling papers and gets to work on rolling himself a joint. He prides himself on how fast and clean he can make them. When he’s finally finished he looked at his handy work, admiring the small, long joint in his fingers. Pulling out a lighter, he sparks it up and lights the end of the paper taking a drag as he lays back and basks in the sun. Conner can feel his anger that he has been holding in since he woke up this morning wash away and he stares at the clouds. 

 

Conner doesn’t remember falling asleep but when his eyes flutter open the sun is already fading away in the background. The sky has turned an orange and red color and clouds scatter the sky above him. Beautiful. Scoffing, Conner sits up and looks down at his hand where he’s holding half of his joint, unlit. 

Standing and stretching is hard. Conner wants to stay in this clearing forever. He looks around at the scenery, looking at all the trees, seeing the leaves dance in the wind. Conner would never admit it, but he loved nature, and tree’s, basically all of the outside. 

While staring at a practically bit tree, he spotted something that didn’t seem like it fit among the trees. He cupped his hands over his eyes to try and get a better look, squinting. Something blue was up in the tree, maybe 4 or so stories in the air. It seemed to be stationary. All of a sudden the mysterious thing started to move. Was that a person? Yes. Definitely a person. He didn’t think anyone else came out here any more after they started putting up the trespassing signs. 

Watching the person, who was very high up in the tree, Conner could never climb that high up, he saw the figure begin to stand on the already too thin of a branch. The mystery person grabbed a hold of the branch they were on, looking like they were about to start climbing down. They just hung there for a while. Conner looked at them in confusion. Why wont they just leave already? Conner thought, annoyed. 

All at once the world stopped. Conner's eyes were still trained on the person who was just dangling from a branch when all of a sudden they just weren’t. They had let go and started to plummet to the ground. 

Conner’s eyes grew wide and before he knew what he was even doing he bolted in the direction of the mystery person who have just seconds ago had let go and dropped 4 stories from the air. He didn’t know what to do. While he was getting closer and closer to the tree where he saw them fall he saw a figure laying still on the floor. What was he going to do? Was he dead?

As Conner approached the still body on the floor he could see the rising and falling of the boys chest. Alive. Conner let out a sigh of relief. He could hear the boy, sniffling, crying on the floor grasping at his left arm while leaning against the thick tree’s trunk. He must have really hurt him self with a fall like that.

Not wanting to started the boy, Conner spoke very softly and stayed back a few yards.

“Hey.” Conner whispered looking directly at the boy and crouching down despite being so far. He wasn’t expecting to see the face that looked over at him in pure shock.Conner was pretty sure his name was Evan Hansen and he was also pretty sure they were in the same grade. The teens face was red and covered in freckles. He as the softest blue eyes that were full of tears and puffy from the crying. He looked shocked and terrified to see Conner crouching near him.

Before he had the chance to say anything else the teen passed out while blood started to roll down the side of his face. Conner, once again shocked, went to the boys side pulling at his arm, the one that didn’t look like it was bending backwards, checking his heart beat. Still going, just slow. Conner pulled out his phone as fast as he could, ignoring the 50 or so texts from his various family members and called 911.


	2. Wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan woke up with his head pounding and the sound of beeping in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write more cause I can thank you.

Evan woke up with his head pounding and the sound of beeping in his room. He doesn’t remember much but he remembers enough. He remembers being in the tree and dangling. The feeling of loneliness sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of his stomach and the thoughts racing through his head at the time. What would happen if you just let go? Would anyone even notice? You’re worthless and pathetic. Do it. He couldn’t even get this right.

He tried sitting, bringing his hands up to his head and rubbing his eyes. Trying to sit was only making himself nauseous but he did back down until he was fully sitting and looking around. His eyes landed on his mom, Heidi Hansen, was sitting next to him in a chair, lazily holding a book. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly, with her neck slightly back. Asleep. Her eyebrows furrowed together. Evans heart sank. 

“Mom?” Evan managed to choke out after a few moments of silent panic. Heidi’s head shot up and she looked right into Evan’s eyes making him drop his gaze immediately.

“Oh, Evan. I’m so glad you’re awake. I was beginning to thing you’d never wake up.” She said worry draining from her face. Evan hated making her worry. “I don’t know how you do it, but climbing a tree so high just to have a branch break on you when you’re half way down.” 

Evan gave a quick relieved sigh and looked up at his mom again. She didn’t know what he had tried -- and failed -- to do.

“Yea, I was pretty shocked when the branch snapped.” Evan said quietly looking at his mom. It was easy to lie. He wasn’t really sure what she did and didn’t know but it seemed like he was in the clear. No need to talk to his mom about what a disappointment he is. 

“You had a very mild concussion and passed out when you hit the floor. You’ve been out all night. They said you would wake up in the morning and here you are! You also broke that arm of yours and right before school too, huh. “ Heidi rambled and smiled at her son “I’m just glad your friend was there to help! Oh, what was his name again? Conner? Conner Murphy?” She looked at him quizzically to see if she was correct.

Evan had no idea what she was talking about. Evan had been totally alone the whole day, like usual and why would he be hanging out Conner Murphy? Tall, Broody, and totally frightening.

“Mom, I--” He was cut off short by the door being shoved open harshly. The one people Evan never expected to visit him walked right into the hospital room -- Evan’s hospital room--, was Conner Murphy. He wad his beautiful oak brown hair up in a messy but and he was wearing a black hoodie with his hands shoved in his pockets and his jeans looked tattered. He had on his tall leather black boots that he seemed to be always wearing-- not that Evan ever noticed!-- His eyes were an amazing shade of brown. The light was hitting them just right in the moment and he saw them light up with shades of green and brown despite the circles that plagued the under circle. His eyes landed on Evan who was sitting up in bed. 

 

Conner stopped in his tracks when he saw that Evan was awake, staring at the kid who turned bright red and looked away.

He was explaining what happened to the paramedics, he said was that he saw the kid fall and nothing else. He doubted that the nervous Evan “cry baby” Hansen wanted people gossiping about how he tried to kill himself. Conner knew he wouldn’t. So he lied. 

When the ambulance got to the hospital, Evans mom was already there in a panic, pacing back in forth in the lobby while in her nurse's uniform. She looked like she had been crying. She was a pretty woman for her age, maybe around 40 or so. She had beautiful dark blonde hair, like Evans, and her eye’s were just as bright and kind. Tan skin with wrinkles scattered across her face and hands. She was short but seemed athletic. She and Evan looked a lot a like.

Evan was wheeled off to a check up room (half conscious). She seemed worried when the doctor walked up to her. They whispered back and forth and her face softened a little. The doctor pointed in his direction and he froze. She walked up to Conner and asked if he was the one who called 911. He said yes and nervously crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I’m Evan’s mom, Heidi Hansen. You must be Conner Murphy?” she asked, noticing is discomfort and keeping her distance. He nodded at her.

“They said he’s going to be alright. He hit his head pretty good when he fell but they said he isn’t in any danger of slipping into a coma. He broke his left arm too. Already put a cast on it. They said he’s just going to sleep it off for the rest of the night and so they can keep an eye on him.” She paused and took a look at the tall boy next to her. She had tired, blue eyes, like Evans, Conner had noted.

“He used to get into all kinds of trouble like this as a kid. He once broke his toes when he was playing outside and kicked a rock so hard we heard the crack. He thought he could move it like a ball.” She laughed and looked down at her hands.

“I think I remember him coming into class with some sort of foot cast on. The 3rd grade right?” Conner was surprised to hear his own voice, wondered how he remembered something from so long ago.

“Yes, Actually.” She looked surprised and then they widened slightly. “I hadn’t known that you were friends with Evan.” She lit up at the word friend.

“Well -- I uh.” Conner didn’t want to see her deflate again. Especially since he’s actually having a decent conversation with an adult. That doesn’t happen often. He looked at her square in the eyes. “Um… yea, We hang out sometimes.” He lied easily. She lit up even further and Conner felt his face go hot. Why did he lie?

“Well that’s just fantastic! I’m so glad that my Evan is making friends.” The worry seemed to almost vanish from her face as she looked up to him once again this time giving him a big toothy grin. He wasn’t used to people being so nice.

 

Conner was still staring at Evan when his mom stood up. 

“I’m going to go get some coffee, do you boys want anything?” Heidi asked. Conner Broke his eye contact with the teen and turned his attention to Heidi. Both boys shook their heads no. She finally left the room Evan gave him a questioning, almost nervous, look. He was scared of him. Of course he was, everyone was. Conner felt anger start to bubble in his stomach. He took a few deep breaths trying to reign it in.

“Your mom asked if we were friends and she looked pretty happy so I lied for you. Made you look like you actually had a real friend. I told her we hang out sometimes. It makes sense. We’re both huge losers. Not that it matters.” He glared at Evan and the boy lifted his knees to his chest. There is a long pause.

“You saw…” Evan’s voice was so quiet Conner wasn’t sure if he actually heard him speak. Evan cleared his throat and tried again. “You saw me l-let go.” He said slightly louder this time. He was looking at his hands twisting his hands around the cuff of his jeans. Another long pause. “I remember seeing you. You were crouched down a few feet from me and you smelled like weed.” 

Conner didn’t really know what to say so he just stared making the poor boy squirm under his gaze. 

“T-thanks for n-not saying anything. I- um-I don’t know what I would… have said… to my mom. Sorry” He muttered out the last of his sentence and looked directly into Conner's eyes. The room was getting hot and Conner didn’t really want to stay there any longer. He stuck out his hand.

“Phone.” He demanded and Evan scrambled to retrieve it, pulling it off of the side table where he had spotted it earlier. Conner took the phone from him and typed in his number, saving it. He sends himself and text and hands the phone back feeling his vibrate in his pocket with the message he had just sent himself. Conner handed the phone back to Evan and started walking to the door. Before he left he turned to Evan.

“I’ll text you.” Evan nodded fiercely and Conner made his exit, the door closing softly behind him. 

Evan looked down at his phone and at the recently added contact that Conner had added there. He smiled softly before looking at the door where the boy had just left. Pathetic.


End file.
